-The Flight of Icarus
Much of this blog has been devoted to personal or organizational
improvement. Aspire to be better,
aspire to do better. A few of my
favorite blogs have celebrated great mentors or giants who have influenced us
or marked an important transition.
What this blog has lacked, however, is a discussion about personal
values and character. I have talked all around it for years, but never addressed
head on the deep positive (or negative) impact of an examined life rooted in
values and character.
Contemplation and reflection about our personal values and
character informs what we are likely to do when faced with an ethical dilemma,
personal crisis, or important decision. Without a deep well of integrity –
regularly revisited – we are opened to the more nefarious of human traits:
ambition, self- centeredness, jealousy, entitlement, anger, resentment, and
betrayal. We do not act on behalf of the interests of those entrusted to us,
but only of our own interests…and those “interests” may not even be real.
Without a solid wringing out on a regular basis, we become sponges to the influences we surround ourselves with. We even seek to be influenced by those with different values. We morph, we devolve, we die...
Such is the case of unbridled ambition. Seeking recognition,
wealth, or power, we make choices that are increasingly selfish. We turn away
from those who have our back but are willing to tell us the truth about our
shortcomings. Instead, we seek affirmation of pretenders who will say whatever
it takes because they too share the same darkness, fragile ego, and lack of
integrity. Because these pretenders will affirm our own base desires, we let
them in. As we listen, we turn from leaders to pretenders too.
All pretenders want to feed their own ego, even if it means destroying good things, fragile things, and even sacred things. Pretenders are narcissists. Their world spins around self to the detriment of all others, sometimes even to those we love. It is not worth the litany of pain and shame. It is an unsustainable orbit. It is never enough. Even as we destroy those around us, our insatiable desire for more leaves us with less and less, until what once was of us is no longer even recognizable.
Yet redemption is possible when backed by sincere love and earnest contrition.The ultimate test of one’s character is a the choice of now. Will you remain in your sullied present? Will you try to make yourself feel better by bringing others down with you? Or will you own the errors, particularly to those you hurt and then start walking step by step on a better path in an examined life?
A person will worship something, have no doubt about that. We may think our tribute is paid in secret in the dark recesses of our hearts, but it will out. That which dominates our imaginations and our thoughts will determine our lives, and our character. Therefore, it behooves us to be careful what we worship, for what we are worshipping we are becoming."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
A person’s life is writ out over decades and does not end until we
die. There are chapters of our life still to write. There are values and
character to shape, trust to build or rebuild, and love to give. Our humanity
is shaped in how we respond to error, particularly our own.
Practice humility, love without ceasing, be open to constructive
criticism, place what matters in the center always, keep good company, and own
your mistakes while learning from them. Worship those good things, those sacred
things so that in becoming, you establish values and character….
….and do not fly too close to the sun.
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